Wilderness

Wilderness’ is the word I have for these times of social distancing and quarantine. In the wilderness the way forward is undefined, no clear path seems ‘right’. In wilderness no one can say how long I will experience this suspended unsteady-ness of not knowing. In the wilderness, familiar markers appear unfamiliar then fear creeps in like weeds in my spring garden choking the bloom. Going to the market, the bank, or the coffee shop all requires extra vigilance. Many medical supports are being re-purposed to focus our collective efforts on fighting a tiny, invisible, yet possibly deadly and naturally occurring virus. God really this is your design?! All of it leaves an insecure taste in my mouth, and a squirrely stomach and oh is that fever-? Can I hold my breath for 10 seconds without coughing?!

Then a small voice comes:  breath! breath in Yaaaah---- and exhale ---- wwwweh  three times slowly.

YAHWEH our ancient word for Creator is perfectly designed to breath in His peace and exhale our panic.  God is yet in charge, and we are in his hands – to the degree we know these hands and trust them, will be the measure of how we experience each new up-date of bad news and can believe we will someday be on the other side of the wilderness.

Perhaps the following poem will help you too lean into God presence more deeply and trust His design for your life and those you love is always for the good.

THE WILDERNESS IS A PLACE OF NEW LIFE —RESILIENT LIFE

I used to think the wilderness would never end.
I called my mom and asked—
“Does time really heal all wounds?
Do the pieces ever fall back into place?     
Does the wilderness go on forever?”

So she told me about the horizon.
She said, “There is an edge,
Where the earth meets the sky.
And when you’re there,          
You will see daisies in the sidewalk . 
And the sun after the rain.”

I asked her to draw me a map 
And she cried,
Because she knew this road was mine to walk,
But she promised to wait for me,
Day in and day out,          
For as long as the wilderness raged.

So I walked.
And it felt like forty days and it hurt
like forty nights.
And I waved to the people I passed there
in the wilderness.
We tipped our hats to one another,
silently recognizing the weight we each carried,

Until one day, I realized—
The earth always kisses the sky.       
And this wilderness has turned into a garden,                                          
And I have made it out alive.

And my mother hugged me,
There at the earth’s edge. 
And she whispered in my ear,
That God was that gardener,
And that I had nothing to fear.

So if you ever ask for a map,
Know that God and I will be planting seeds,
Hoping to turn your wilderness into a garden.

For as long as the wilderness rages on,
I will never stop looking for you
Where the earth kisses the sky.

By Sarah Are

Kathy Kiesser is an associate pastor at Tapestry Richmond 
Photo by Arto Marttinen